Doubts

I crept out slowly into the mist that surrounded my house.  I wondered why that was the only thing I could remember.  I didn't have any other memories - only faces and names.  I slowly trudged the ground with my bare feet, and could feel the mud squish between my toes, and mind you, it wasn't the greatest feeling in the world.  In fact, I felt disgusted.  I didn't know what to think anymore.  

I peeked from behind the prickly bush, but in the process, I pricked myself!

*OUCH*

Whoever told me that prickly bushes were dangerous were frankly.. right.  I didn't want to listen to them, ever because I had my own pride.  The other thing I remember is that I always wanted to do stuff myself.  I'm an independent chick who goes on her own way.  That's just me.

Okay, so I saw the house.  There aren't many houses with a green tiled roof and total brick red walls, and I am so glad I spotted it.  Now, all I had to do was go and knock at the door, awaiting for whoever was in there.  Honestly, I was so afraid that I almost peed my pants, right there and then.

I walked discretely toward the tinsel-clad door as quietly as I could.  As I leant my ear towards the door, I could hear voices of happiness.  This was refreshing because I had not remembered what the sounds of happiness felt like, and all I can really tell you is that it's bliss.  Total bliss.  I just wished that I was part of it all.

I always felt so lonely.  Ever since I had amnesia or whatever explains my loss of memories, I felt so alone in the darkness about almost everything.  I never knew how to be myself since I had no memories, I had no experiences, I had almost nothing to share.  Only the image of that very house and my pride.

*gulp*  This was it.  I could not believe that I was actually going to do this.  As I stared blankly at the door, my eyes were strained and dropped tiny dew drops down the grassy, muddy ground.

*knock knock*  I knocked on that tinsel clad door.  I waited, and waited.  It got a litle nerve wracking to start with, but no one came to answer the door.  I couldn't believe that I actually expected someone to invite me willingly into their home.  Damn it...  I knew something like this could never happen.  It was just my sudden twist of fate.

I turned around and slowly trudged the ground one little step at a time.  Maybe someone would look out and see my face down in the dumps.  Yeah right, why do I expect the sympathy anyways?  Maybe it's just one of those other things I remember.  *sigh*  I am so pathetic.

I didn't know where else I could go.  I mean, it wasn't like I had a home, so I was practically homeless.  Help?  Someone?  The only person who could actually help me right now was myelf.

So then, I just went on with my doubts.